While playing DDR: Mario Mix:
Lisa: I think Mario's gay. Look at the way he shakes his bum!
I share my apartment with a colony of ant geniuses.
They're small and brown, and they're everywhere. If I leave food on the counter, they'll find it. I find ants covering cookies not in a sealed plastic container. (And, once, ingested them.) They've survived the dishwasher. A neighbour has told me that he's had his apartment fumigated, and the ants still returned.
My first thought was to use ant traps, the kind that are filled with peanut butter and chocolate laced with poison. The ants are not interested in them. As far as I can tell, they look at the traps, say "Oh, I've heard about these fucking things. They hurt us," and go on raiding my garbage.
Watching some ants under my sink near the garbage showed that they were getting in through the crack between cupboard floor and wall. "I know exactly the solution for this problem," I said, and I sealed that crack with silicone caulking. Ants not smart enough to get away in time were encased in this caulking like Han Solo, forever an effigy to ant excess.
What I didn't count on was the ability of ants to adapt. Can't get through the crack anymore? How about we use the three inch hole in the wall? Yes, it seems that I wasn't smart enough to seal the giant hole used for the dishwasher's hoses, so the ants came back the very next day.
This time, I was prepared with the big guns. "Contains Borax, which ants will take to their nests to feed the larvae and queens, thus destrolying the entire colony. Place a few drops along ant runs." Ant runs lead directly to my garbage can, as usual, so I put some big drops in their path.
The first brilliant ant who went by sniffed one drop, sniffed the one beside it, and then apparently decided "These are not good food" and went right on by. This was not encouraging. A colony is made up of many ants, though, both smart and stupid, and luckily the next ant by was of the latter variety. He told all his ant friends, and now these brilliant ants get to kill themselves for me.
